A Calgary man has written a book that chronicles the death of his father almost 20 years ago in the hopes of helping others deal with the aftermath of murder.

Scott Hay's memoir called ‘Bleeding Hearts” documents his father Bruce’s murder at the family’s farm near Wetaskiwin in 1997.

Hay was just 18 years old when his mother, Susanne, shot his father and hid his body in a field.

He says he remembers taking a run into Ponoka to run errands on the day of the murder and when he returned home his mother was frantic saying his father had gone missing.

“So I spent the day searching for him all day long and then eventually after about dinner time I called in the missing persons report to the police,” he said.

He says the police came out and launched a search and then he and his mother were asked to go into town and answer some questions.

“They started asking me different questions and the questions started leading into me realizing my father was not alive anymore and as the questions grew and as it got later and later in the night, I started finding out that he was dead and that also I was being accused of his murder,” said Hay.

Police found Bruce’s body about 400 metres from the house under two straw bales.

“She had shot him. She had shot him in the bathtub,” said Hay. “She had murdered him in the bathtub and then had to remove his body from that bathtub, put him in our tractor bucket and then hauled him out to the field.”

His mother confessed to the murder later that night and said it was brought on by years of abuse.

“I guess that morning they had gotten into a fight and he had abused her, she just lost her cool and that was that,” said Hay.  “I don’t think it’s justifiable by any means but I have an understanding for it as I was also abused throughout the years.”

Susanne pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to four years in prison.

Hay says his mother did something most people would find unforgivable but that he would rather share his life with one parent that none at all.

He decided to put his thoughts in a book to help his family heal and dedicated ‘Bleeding Hearts’ to both of his parents.

“I feel I got the best of both of them. My mom’s loving, caring, my father’s loyalty and his love just, I am who I am today from what each of them have taught me in their own ways,” he said. “I feel I’ve moved on quite well with it and I don’t ever use it as a crutch or anything. I’ve just kind of moved forward and used it as a learning experience.”

The book took six years to write and Hay says he’s heard from children and parents affected by abuse.

“As I started writing and writing, it started to take shape and I started realizing that this is a story that could save somebody’s life or change people’s lives down the road,” he said. “The feedback I’ve had from the book is really amazing. I’ve had children message me saying that now they thought their parents hated them and now they realize that their parents probably really loved them but I’ve also had parents message me saying it’s questioned the way they raise their children, it’s challenging their way of thinking of how they want to raise their children so I’m hoping it challenges people’s thinking so there’s never a situation where a spouse possibly wants to murder another spouse down the road, maybe they look for a way out.”

He says he has not asked his mother why she did it and that it’s not important to know why.

“It’s important for me to move forward, forgive and move on,” he said. “It doesn’t bother me at all”

A book release is being held on Saturday at the Hillhurst Sunnyside Community Association at 1320 5 Ave N.W. 

For more on Scott Hay and ‘Bleeding Hearts’ click HERE.