Canadian diver Caeli McKay finds her strength during and after Olympic Games
Caeli McKay doesn't call herself a wimp anymore because she knows she's not.
The Canadian diver has discovered in herself a battler who can compete in pain at the highest levels of her sport. The 22-year-old Calgarian dove with damaged ankle ligaments in last summer's Olympic Games in Tokyo.
"I never felt like the strongest person," McKay told The Canadian Press. "I always felt like I could do more, I always felt like I could push harder. I always kind of told myself I was a wimp.
"This experience taught me how strong I am, how much pain I can push through and how much mental and emotional pain I could push through. I definitely have better self-talk.
"I really appreciate now how strong I am."
While dryland training at Olympic trials a year ago, McKay caught her foot between a mat and a box she was jumping from. She badly tore ligaments in her left ankle, which compromised her ability to launch from the 10-metre tower.
She'd already qualified to dive with Meaghan Benfeito in Olympic synchronized diving based on the duo's previous international results.
McKay couldn't compete at trials for an individual 10-metre berth, but soldiered on to dive with Benfeito in Tokyo. They placed fourth, less than a point out from the podium.
McKay pushed herself around the Olympic village on a scooter to keep weight off her ankle.
"We didn't know whether she was going to be able to compete," Diving Canada chief technical officer Mitch Geller said. "You know what? She does compete. She bit down on some leather and they did a fantastic job."
Just over a year past her injury date, McKay's ankle is still an issue. After finishing second in nationals last month, McKay isn't competing in the four-day FINA Grand Prix concluding Sunday in her hometown.
Calgary's Grand Prix is a chance for Canadian and international divers to hone their performance for the world championship June 17 to July 3 in Budapest, Hungary.
McKay is preserving her ankle for the world championship.
"I definitely did a number on it at the Olympics. It didn't heal the proper way," she said. "It was all my choice to push through the pain and I knew the consequences. I knew it was going to be a harder recovery. I knew that it was going to linger and I know that I probably won't ever have a normal ankle.
"Right now, we're still kind of starting to do more investigation into why I'm having more pain, but it's more of a chronic pain situation, more like a tendinitis kind of situation."
McKay also navigated a common post-Olympic feeling among athletes: after achieving my lifelong dream, why don't I feel different when others treat me differently?
There's also a "what now?" feeling and the urge to quickly get back to the pool or the gym to replace that feeling.
"I've been pretty open, speaking about post-Olympic depression," McKay said. "I think it's something that's really important for athletes to talk about. It's the highest high you'll have and you get home. You don't feel as different as you thought you were going to feel being an Olympian.
"I was proud to have dove well with one ankle. I was proud to have got fourth by such a small amount. Of course, it's heartbreaking, but I was very, very proud of myself.
"I came back and . . . (people) ask you how you did and they're really excited or they're not. That's kind of all it is for a few months. That's all you're identified as. For me, that was really hard. I don't feel any different, but that's the only significant thing people are talking about. I feel like I have the same value I had before the Olympic Games."
McKay was helped through her post-Olympic phase by her fiancé and former teammate Vincent Riendeau. The two-time Olympian retired after diving in Rio in 2016 and Tokyo.
"Vince was very good with me before the Olympics because he had been to Rio and he went through his post-Olympic depression," McKay said.
"He was kind of warning me. I was like 'ah, that's not going to happen' and then it happened and I was like 'OK, I've got to get back to diving.' I felt like I needed to because I still felt I had something to prove since we got fourth.
"He was like 'no, you don't' because he made the mistake of going back to diving way too fast after the Olympics and not taking the time to have a normal month where you go out for dinner, you see family, you go on a trip."
Their wedding is later this summer following the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham, England, and a year and a day after their engagement.
McKay continues to do the mental training and visualization in diving that can help compensate for those times when her ankle limits her reps on the boards.
"I'm not doing 100 per cent of my training. I'm doing 50 per cent and the other 50 per cent I'm trying to do mentally," she said. "It's definitely a tool that I learned how to use more efficiently and effectively. I think it's going to be a helpful tool for me."
This report by The Canadian Press was first published June 9, 2022.
CTVNews.ca Top Stories
Man who set himself on fire outside Trump trial dies of injuries, police say
A man who doused himself in an accelerant and set himself on fire outside the courthouse where former U.S. President Donald Trump is on trial has died, police said.
Israeli airstrike in southern Gaza city of Rafah kills at least 9 Palestinians, including 6 children
An Israeli airstrike on a house in Gaza's southernmost city killed at least nine people, six of them children, hospital authorities said Saturday, as Israel pursued its nearly seven-month offensive in the besieged Palestinian territory.
Young people 'tortured' if stolen vehicle operations fail, Montreal police tell MPs
One day after a Montreal police officer fired gunshots at a suspect in a stolen vehicle, senior officers were telling parliamentarians that organized crime groups are recruiting people as young as 15 in the city to steal cars so that they can be shipped overseas.
'It was joy': Trapped B.C. orca calf eats seal meat, putting rescue on hold
A rescue operation for an orca calf trapped in a remote tidal lagoon off Vancouver Island has been put on hold after it started eating seal meat thrown in the water for what is believed to be the first time.
Sask. father found guilty of withholding daughter to prevent her from getting COVID-19 vaccine
Michael Gordon Jackson, a Saskatchewan man accused of abducting his daughter to prevent her from getting a COVID-19 vaccine, has been found guilty for contravention of a custody order.
Mandisa, Grammy award-winning 'American Idol' alum, dead at 47
Soulful gospel artist Mandisa, a Grammy-winning singer who got her start as a contestant on 'American Idol' in 2006, has died, according to a statement on her verified social media. She was 47.
She set out to find a husband in a year. Then she matched with a guy on a dating app on the other side of the world
Scottish comedian Samantha Hannah was working on a comedy show about finding a husband when Toby Hunter came into her life. What happened next surprised them both.
B.C. judge orders shared dog custody for exes who both 'clearly love Stella'
In a first-of-its-kind ruling, a B.C. judge has awarded a former couple joint custody of their dog.
Saskatoon police to search landfill for remains of woman missing since 2020
Saskatoon police say they will begin searching the city’s landfill for the remains of Mackenzie Lee Trottier, who has been missing for more than three years.