CALGARY -- Planning a funeral for a loved one is painful and stressful, but having to do so during a pandemic is even more challenging.
A memorial looks very different in a time with travel restrictions and distancing rules. Some people are opting to delay services until the rules are relaxed.
“We would’ve had quite a few services during the week (before the pandemic), now I suspect we’re going to have a lot in the fall or whenever the restrictions are lifted,” says Brett Watson, a funeral home operator in Calgary and the president of the Funeral Service Association of Canada.
“A lot of people are holding off until they have the opportunity to gather in larger groups,” Watson says.
Jesse Modz’s grandmother, Anne Bradbury, passed away May 13 in Ontario. Modz is the cohost of the CJAY 92 morning show in Calgary, so his family decided to postpone the service service until people can travel and gather safely again.
“We’ve just decided not to have a funeral, not to have a celebration of life right now,” Modz says.
“When things start to clear up a little bit, our plan is just to skip a funeral altogether and rent a restaurant and have a good toast and celebration that way.”
For those who do move forward with a service now, Watson says groups are limited to 15 people in Alberta and ceremonies are live-streamed for other family members to watch online.
There’s no hugging at a funeral home during a pandemic,and face-to-face meetings are kept to a minimum.
Instead, funeral operators wear masks, surfaces are disinfected and 14 chairs in the chapel are spaced out by two metres.
Watson says about 35 per cent of Canadian funeral operators say revenue has decreased by at least 30 per cent during the pandemic because people aren’t holding as many memorial services.
For families, missing that closure can make the loss feel worse, or at least different.
“It was just a really hard time for everyone to try to come together, like you normally would when something like this happens,” says Modz.
“I don’t know if it’s hit me yet that she’s gone forever. It might hit me once I go back to see my grandparents. The thought of not having a funeral, it’s kind of easier because that’s a really emotional time for people.”